Why are daughters expected to accept mother's going under the knife?

My mother has long since battled major insecurity issues with her looks (since her childhood).


She USED TO have beautiful Eastern European features, but now looks very different.


Upon receiving these procedures, amounting to well over $10K, I guess she expected that I would find her "new look" appealing/attractive. I don't, it in no way looks genuine, as few of these procedures pass for "looking genuine".


She's eternally offended because I gave her my honest opinion/response: "Mother, I preferred your natural looks".


Should I have lied? What is she really trying to say to me, that since she doesn't accept her own natural features, why should I and I need to look forward to a life plagued with insecure feelings about my looks and to start saving up for a lifetime of procedures?


What is our society teaching us?


BTW: I am the most comfortable in my own skin than any other woman that I know. I believe that a person is able to look their best at every age. Peace...
Why are daughters expected to accept mother's going under the knife?
What your Mother is really saying is she feels old and used up and went under the knife to feel better about herself and your opinion matters. As with anyone who feels bad about themselves, telling her a thousand times you liked her before wont make her feel better because she knows you love her and feels you liked the old her bc she's your Mom. She is not asking you to accept her insecurities, she is begging you to help her feel good about being whatever age she is and trying to become appealing once again. Your opinion apparently matters most to her and you saying she doesn't look good hurt her because she paid all that money and still can't feel better about herself. Whether she is married or not, what young people don't realize, is no one is happy getting older and not being seen as acttractive, everyone especially women still want to turn heads and get noticed, and when we start feeling we lost it...then we try to desperately grasp it again. She isn't angry with you over your opinion, she is hurt. I don't know how old you are but she is looking to you to see her as a person not a Mother. She is hurt, not mad. I'm not sure how young she was when she had you, perhaps her being seen as a wantable woman ended too soon for her. There are so many things she must be going through in her own mind, maybe next time a better answer would be a softer version of the truth:" Mom I liked you before you changed so it is hard for me to see what you look like now, it's too new."
Why are daughters expected to accept mother's going under the knife?
I don't get what you are asking but ... i don't like the idea of "plastic surgery'
Reply:Your moms feelings are hurt. I dont think it was necessarily wrong to be honest, but Im sure there are times in your life you didnt look too great, or did something pretty dumb, and your mother told a white lie to spare your feelings.





Its hard to know when to be honest, and when to tell a lie to keep from hurting someone. Perhaps the best thing you could have said is "I thought you were beautiful before, and I think youre beautiful no matter what".





Your mom is grown and she can do with her body what she wishes. She more than just your mom, shes a woman, dealing with the issues we all face. I know she may have gotten a bit offended, and maybe that in turn offended you, but just try and understand where shes coming from and support her no matter what. After all, shes the only mom you've got and wont be around forever.





To answer your second question, most mothers think their kids are beautiful no matter what. However, when people (women especialy) look at themselves, they see flaws other people may not notice, or flaws that may not even really be there. We always judge our looks more harshley than we do others. It has nothing to do with you, its just human nature.
Reply:i get what you`re asking. and i don`t think you`re wrong for telling your mom that you preferred her natural looks. natural beauty goes a long way, but if your mom wants to go under the knife, it`s really her choice. if i was in your position, i would`ve told my mom the same thing. maybe it`s an internal problem she`s dealing with, and i don`t think she means for you to save up and get ready to go under the knife. i guess she got offended because going under the knife supposively makes you prettier, and when you said that you preferred her natural looks, she may`ve thought that she`s not pretty now. i don`t know if that made sense, but i hope it helps (:
Reply:Are you Melissa Rivers?
Reply:*pats you on the back* You did the right thing. If she was insecure then she should've done somehitng that she could try out. Nothing that was permanite. (I can't spell today just to let you all know! Don't make fun of me!) Relax. You did the riht thing. Don't worry about her. Tell her that you still love her no matter how she loks. tell her that you liked her a little better naturally but she is still that same person and thats what matters. Be really sweet and honest about it. :) Good luck.